Mike Bernhardt

Mike Bernhardt’s personal journey with grief and poetry began when his first wife died in 1991. To express feelings that were often overwhelming, he turned to writing poetry. He also searched for books containing other people’s poems about grieving the death of a loved one but found little that moved him. So, he decided to create his own book. Voices of the Grieving Heart is a unique volume with over 160 selected poems, essays, and images by 83 contributors sharing their experiences of loss, grief, and transformation. Mike is a Certified Grief Educator and is trained as a facilitator in Poetry as a Tool for Wellness. He has been interviewed about grief, and the power of poetry to express the inexpressible, on radio and on a number of podcasts, including Open to Hope. He has been a presenter at various organizations including the National Association for Poetry Therapy and Rotary International. To learn more or buy Voices of the Grieving Heart, visit https://mikebernhardt.net.

Articles:

Widower Reflects on Grief Thirty Years Later

Widower Reflects on Grief One evening in my bereavement support group, a couple of months after my wife Susan died, a woman spoke about how comforting it had been to be able to cry for her first husband in the presence of her new second husband. I told her that I hoped I might meet someone so tolerant of my love for someone else. She replied, “You won’t settle for anything less.” I have been married for twenty-eight years to a woman I became friends with a few months after Susan died. Yvonne was patient and giving enough to let […]

Widower Shares Emotional Journey

Someone Died Today No matter how prepared or unprepared we are for death, no matter how old or young we are, no matter how much we say, “I love you,” no matter how “good” or “bad” a death it was, no matter how relieved or anguished we feel, no matter what our spiritual or religious beliefs are, the death of a loved one shocks us with its finality. They are gone forever from this world, and our lives will never be the same. The Raging Storm Emotions tumble over us—intolerable pain, rage at our loved one, ourselves and God, terror […]

Widower Finds Poetry Healing

Widower Experiences Consuming Grief My wife Susan died unexpectedly in April 1991, the Sunday after Easter. I could never have imagined beforehand how transformative an experience that would be. Nothing was true anymore but the truths of her death and my continued existence. I was shaken to my foundations, forced to decide what I would keep of myself and what I would throw away. Every aspect of my life was subject to review, from my occupation to my spiritual beliefs, from my choice of friends to my choice of doctors. Although some friends were very supportive, for about a year […]

When a Parent Starts Dating: The Role of Adult Children

Dating After a Spouse-Loss Our society has so many expectations for us after our spouse has died. We should grieve—depending on the expectations of our friends, religious traditions, or workplace expectations—for anywhere from a few weeks to many years. The reality of course is that we will grieve for however long we will grieve. The world might forget that we lost the love of our lives; but we don’t. Our friends, even family members, might encourage us to move on before we are ready because they need us to move on. Contrarily, if we feel ready to build a new […]

Gifts in the Pain

Gifts in the Pain My wife Susan died unexpectedly in April 1991, the Sunday after Easter. I could never have imagined beforehand how transformative an experience that would be. Nothing was true anymore but the truths of her death and my continued existence. I was shaken to my foundations, forced to decide what I would keep of myself and what I would throw away. Every aspect of my life was subject to review, from my occupation to my spiritual beliefs, from my choice of friends to my choice of doctors. Although some friends were very supportive, for about a year […]

After 30 Years, Still Not Over It

Many Years Later, Still Not Over It When a bereavement counselor or group facilitator meets us for the first time to support us in our grief, the first question they usually ask is, What happened? I’ve been telling the story of my first wife, Susan, who died over 30 years ago. I survived the raging storm. I found my footing on an unknown shore. But I’m still not “over it”. I eventually found new love and married Yvonne, a woman who respected and honored the tears I was still shedding. By almost any measure, I’ve had a great life. Until […]

Writing Poems Can Heal

Writing Poems Can Heal Grief When grief overwhelms us, when someone whom we love more than life itself has died, we may feel that we have no words to describe the enormity of it, the excruciating pain we feel. But writing poems can heal. At first, though, there may be only the racking sobs, or the quiet numbness. But often, the words are there. We just don’t know how to speak them in a way that someone else can understand what is in our hearts. Or: we know what we want to say but we don’t trust that others will […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.